She went on to say that if I doubted God then my faith had no substance at all and if that was the case she felt she had to move away from me and blocked my facebook and Twitter pages.
It was sad and quite discouraging in lots of ways but since then it has served as a wake-up call to me and I would just like to share just where I am coming from with my doubts.
My former friend quoted the letter of James to me and I quote the verses she threw at me back to you
"But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind - for that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways" - James 1: 5-8
Well since that episode with my former friend I have come to realise that indeed we are not at the mercy of every wave that comes across our boat and we are certainly NEVER at the mercy of every DOUBT that often comes smashing into our minds.
On saying this, just like the waves, doubts WILL come - we can't just pretend that they won't and I really feel that most of us will have doubts from time to time - some of us more regularly than others. The thing is not to let those doubts undermine our faith!
I know this may sound strange but I feel that my doubt often drives me back to depend on the promises of God more and more.
Joseph Solomon first coined the phrase "Doubt your Doubts" and here is the link to his youtube clip which is very self-explanatory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSAFvm5KLyk
I was very encouraged when I listened to Joseph on this very subject that often confuses and even drives people away, feeling like they are not saved at all!
The more we pay attention to doubt the more it limits what God has promised and the more we stop relying on His promises and the more we rely on our own interpretations of them.
Faith on the other hand builds confidence in the very promises of God - it sort of smacks doubt on the noggin and reinforces to us the very majesty and awesomeness of God and His amazing promises to us.
In his youtube clip Joseph explains that his faith could fit into the creases of his palms it was THAT small - But God has promised that as tiny as your faith maybe, that very faith can move mountains in your life - and some of the mountains may be the mountains of doubt.
My friend pointed out to me quite dramatically that my doubts about God overrode my belief and smashes my faith. She maintained that because of my doubts I can no longer claim my salvation.
But thankfully GOD IS BIGGER AND GREATER THAN OUR DOUBTS!
If we cast our minds back to the time when we first came to Christ in repentance and asked Him to change our lives - He came into our lives and changed us permanently regardless of any doubts that may sometimes invade our space.
The very fact he accepted us as His was only through the very grace of God and not because we had this vast amount of untapped faith just waiting to explode onto the world and dazzle us with it's amazing attributes.
NO! at the end of the day we are NOT saved by the amount of faith we have or do not have nor by the strength of our belief but by the very sacrifice of Jesus and what he did for us on that cross. We are saved by the very mercy and grace of God.
If we didn't have any faith then we wouldn't have come to Him at all
My mind travels back to that amazing miracle that Jesus did while here on earth and recorded for us in Matthew 9. A father brings his desperately sick child to Jesus who asks dad "do you believe that I can cure this child?"
Dad, says "I do - but help my unbelief" - There are so many times in own life where I have prayed this prayer. Many many times others have tried to undermine our faith in God and they will continue to do so unfortunately and there are many who like me do not have a perfect faith in God.
But we do not have to concern ourselves with the amount of faith we have or how huge our belief in God has grown since handing our life to Him. What we do need to cling to is that through His grace, God has deemed to save us regardless!
The amount of faith we do have is a mighty weapon and can be wielded with accuracy and forthrightness in combating satan and his foes - we need to grab hold of the promises of Jesus, believe them and doubt your doubts and let our weak faith cling to the mighty arm of God.
This is a beautiful prayer by Bonnie McKernan from her blog the link to which follows here:-
I am sure she won't mind me repeating it here in mine because it sort of says it all about our doubts and unbelief.
Like Bonnie and me - let's pray this prayer from our hearts and let's doubt our doubts rather than doubting our amazing salvation and the awesomeness of the very grace of God!
Lord, forgive me for not believing that your truth permeated every single layer of my life. Fan my tiny smoldering little spark of faith into a burning and consuming fire that will bring you glory and drive out darkness. But don't ever let me think it is strong enough or that I have any hope of stoking it and keeping it alive apart from you. I believe; help my unbelief!