Well, I am writing this to all of you who have felt exactly the same way as I have - those of you, who like me never seem to be able to walk in a straight line - always deviating either to the right or to the left - putting a brand new "I wouldn't do anything wrong" face yet crucifying yourself because of your own stupid waywardness.
You know God knows all about us - our wantonness, our sinfulness, our stupidity and a straight out waywardness. So let's, you and me, not throw in the towel just yet. Let's not quit because you know it's just NOT over!! - Not yet - Not until God says it is.
These voices inside our heads telling us to give it all up and just go on your way - drag your heavy heart out the door - you are beaten, defeated so just accept it and go.
We have to keep on fighting out of our dark places into God's amazing light where there is His hope - His life - His truth - His grace and His eternal faithfulness.
He will never let us go - His promise not mine (John 10:28) so even if you think "my time has come" please don't despair and PLEASE never give up. God has us covered no matter how we are feeling. It's more than time to forget your past and claim the future that God has in store for us. Jesus died that we might have this eternal life with Him - Our past is dead and buried with Him and we have risen to a new life once we have come to Him and repented of our sins and asked forgiveness.
So whatever is bangin' on your door, lust, jealousy, self pity, victimisation, worry, bullying, deceit whatever it is if you know immediately when you have sinned and need to do something about it that's so great IF it leads you to repentance but feeling sorry for your sins can be bad if it doesn't help you to turn away from them. Being 'sorry' is so different from being 'repentant'.
Repentance is turning away from sin, trusting that God has forgiven us and reminding ourselves constantly that he has. In 2 Corinthians 7:10 we read:- "Godly sorrow brings REPENTANCE that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, BUT worldly sorrow brings death"
So what do we do with our on-going sins - those things that bring us to the point of believing that God just can't forgive us this time? We lay them and us at the foot of the cross - we let them and us be washed clean AGAIN by the blood of Jesus - he died so that we can live anew in Him.
We will go through hard times - it IS a part of life that no-one can avoid - and hard times in life are different for most people BUT the trick is please PLEASE don't let these times blind you and let them define your mind into thinking that is exactly who you are because Jesus death and your repentance and forgiveness have decreed otherwise.
My profile name on Face Book and Twitter is "Itsbygracealone" and when we have truly asked God to forgive us and come again to the cross, laying it at His feet then that amazing GRACE comes again rushing into us like a flood!
Remember that you ARE forgiven - you ARE a brand new person! We don't give into the lie that we are somehow disqualified from His presence - like demerit points on your drivers licence - 9 points and your lost for eternity! NO Way - no matter what we have done that's not who we are - Through Jesus Christ and the very GRACE and MERCY of God, He has promised to finish what He started in us to make us that brand new person he promised we would be.
Keep looking to Jesus, keep stepping out with Him, even if it's 'baby steps' keep following Him - praying that he will forgive your sins, but please don't 'wallow' in the past - they have gone, paid for and forgotten. But as you find yourself falling each day, keep asking God to renew you until you become more like Jesus.
Please take heart that it is not over yet and that there are a lot of Christians out there going through the very same situation as you and me - be encouraged in your walk with Jesus in helping you to say a big fat 'NO' to sin whatever that sin is. There IS hope to carry on - Our God IS able to do abundantly more than we ever thought possible.
Love this verse in Philippians 1:6
"Being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you WILL carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
In closing:- Remember YOU ARE FORGIVEN! and IT'S NOT OVER YET!
You're forgiven and your sin is now in the past. Write 'game, set, match' over them and welcome that GRACE that comes in like a flood, washing us clean for a new day with Him.
Many blessings to you this week.