Keep a Zip on ya lip!

Ever shot your mouth off and then been very sorry? I have - it seems to me that I just maybe the King of sticking my foot in it - will I ever learn??

You know, God in His great and mighty wisdom gives us a few very plainly worded and choice pieces of advice on how to stay out of trouble, be humble and keep it "zipped" when dealing with all sorts of problems.

It is so easy for us to say what is on our minds, whether it be gossip or confrontation with another. So easy yet can be so evil. We can offend with a word - we can ruin a reputation with a sentence.

When Paul wrote to the Romans he pretty much summed up the very heart of God when he said "Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another." (Romans 14:19)

We should make it our priority to build others up - not to tear them down - to encourage others not to put them down and to build confidence in others not make ourselves look good at their expense.

Now on saying that, the very last thing I want to do is to 'preach' at anyone concerning this because to put it plainly, I am the very WORST at taking this on board myself.

Forgiveness is probably one of the biggest hurdles we will ever face in this regard. Confrontation, anger, taking/giving offence and unforgiveness - all hard stuff to cope with and all very much out of line with how God wants us to live our lives.

Makes me wonder how many of us would want God to forgive us in the same way that we forgive others - not many I would imagine, and yet this is how God will forgive us.

Luke 6:37 states "Forgive and you will be forgiven" and again Jesus says "And forgive us our debts in the same way as we forgive our debtors" (Matthew 6:12).

Couldn't get any plainer! - God will only forgive us if we are truly from our heart have forgiven others. The way we forgive is the way we will be forgiven.

We can live our lives in Christian fellowship, we can be baptised and say and mean the 'sinner's prayer', yet if in our hearts we haven't or can't forgive then Heaven will not be opened to us. God will say "depart from me - I never knew you" and why? Because we have refused to forgive and therefore cannot be forgiven. Strong words but true.

Forgiveness is usually denied to other people who have hurt us or who have been hurt by us but it is important to note that forgiveness can be withheld from us by ourselves. Yes, we can get to the stage where we cannot forgive ourselves. God has forgiven us; we can then forgive ourselves. Pretty Schmick eh?

All of us need to deal with the unforgiving spirit living in us now while we are here - it will be too late to deal with it once we are facing eternity.

Pride is another little sneak that can stop us from offering or asking forgiveness. Especially when the person we are so-called asking forgiveness of is someone who has hurt us yet they see it in reverse! They see it as us hurting them, yet the reality is that it is us who have been wounded by them.

God knows our hearts, He knows and understands our pride but also knows just how much Jesus paid for our salvation. On the cross Jesus cried out to God to forgive his mockers and not to hold it against them and guess what? God expects us to try to reconcile with everyone, even those who we feel are unjustly 'blaming' us for the problem in the first place.

I recall a person whom I feel unjustly blamed me for a lot of things that happened in our past - this person lashed out at me - I was told I was rude, selfish, egotistic, narrow-minded, mean and more. My first reaction was to try and defend myself, pointing out that it was him not me that caused the problems in the first place - I was the victim not him!

Would that have helped? Not at all - when we 'defend' ourselves it only makes the unforgiving spirit even more unforgiving - offence overwhelms both sides - we need to put a plug in it and try to listen to their arguments coolly and as calmly as possible. Reconciliation must take top priority.

We may have done nothing wrong but when it boils down and we get to the nitty gritty it is far more important for us to do as God says and 'humble' ourselves and reconcile if possible than to go out of our way and make things even worse just to prove ourselves correct.

So where does that leave us? Firstly I feel we need to 'button up'. Proverbs 12:23 states
"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity" - and believe me calamity will strike - so we need to keep our tongues well under control.

Finally we need to be motivated by the love of God - His type of love never fails us. In Romans 12:18 Paul writes "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone". We need to do everything we can to be reconciled with each other and if that means humbling ourselves and forgetting our pride, so be it.

God go with you as you forgive and become a "Peacemaker" in the name of Jesus.

Nightmare on Straight Street.

Ananias was a great old guy - dedicated to Jesus and I imagine, living a pretty isolated life. After all every Christian in Damascus wore a target on their back and was open to persecution.

But first lest flip back to where the story begins..

Saul, later Paul, had just witnessed and condoned the murder of Stephen - the Godly new-elected 'deacon' of the first church - Stephen a man filled with the Holy Spirit was stoned to death for 'offending' the Pharisees and church elders because He preached Jesus, crucified and risen again for the salvation of the world.

Good old Saul liked the fact that here was yet another of those new fangled  "Christians" finally out of the way and a good job too.

That obviously spurred Saul on because in the next scene here he is with new vigour chasing down Christians, throwing them into prisons, torturing and murdering them - nice guy.

On the way to Damascus a miracle occurred and Saul was miraculously transformed by the sovereignty of God who halted his plans in one fell swoop.

Here we find Saul, the Chief opponent to Christianity being transformed into it's primary proponent! - In the process Saul was rendered blind, not only by the blinding light that accompanied his conversion but by the awesome power of God.

Lead by his friends to Straight Street, here he remained for three days, blind and not eating or drinking - I guess in a state of shock! - God had literally taken him and shaken him out of his so-called piety and told him exactly what was going to happen.

Meanwhile back in Damascus, here was Ananias virtually in hiding and I can imagine' so too was his family - They had obviously heard that Saul and his cohorts were on the march, rounding up Christians and turning them over to the authorities.

So in hiding they stayed - fearful yet trusting God. Then out of the blue a message from God Himself!!

"Get up and go to Straight Street, find a guy named Saul of Tarsus, lay hands on him so that he can receive his sight" GULP...

"Did you say Saul of Tarsus?" I can hear Ananias say - "that same Saul that has been rounding up the Christians? - I have heard of this man - he has done much harm, Lord, he has come here on the authority of the Chief Priests to arrest us!"

He must have been thinking as I hear his heart beating...

"Oh No! this is a nightmare" - "Straight Street - that's obviously where all the Christian persecutors hang out - I will be going straight into the lions den - I may as well stick my head straight in the lions mouth!" - God has got confused or forgotten what this terrorist has done - I can't put myself in this position!"

Poor Ananias, showed a bit of weak faith here - didn't trust God implicitly - A bit like me actually, when I put myself in his position, knowing what he knew, I figure I would have asked the same question, maybe even ignored the command.

But Ananias was told by God "Go! I have chosen this very man to carry my name to the gentiles."

Ananias obeyed, right to very letter - he went to Straight Street, I can just imagine him knocking on the door - so timidly, fearful yet strangely confident knowing that whatever happened, God was with him.

He found Saul, broken and contrite, blind and confused - Ananias did what he was told to do and Saul received his sight, when something like 'scales' fell from his eyes.

Saul immediately went about his mission and spent days with the disciples in Damascus, and I assume Ananias was there as well, but here Ananias's story ends - he fades from the picture.

Ananias's role is small but vitally important to the whole event. A man who questioned God, maybe going as far as to correct God but was obedient in the end.

When you think about it, Ananias's obedience launched the greatest ministry of all times - millions of people have come to know Jesus as their Saviour and Lord.

When I think of Ananias and his act of obedience it sort of puts into perspective all small acts of obedience by God's people - even when those acts seem so contrary to human understanding.

We never see the big picture, we only have to rely on and trust God implicitly as Ananias did. God will never let us down.

So Ananias's "nightmare on Straight Street," brought in a such huge harvest for God and turned his personal 'nightmare' into a dream fulfilled; greater than he ever knew.

Obedience to God no matter what the cost.  We are called to simply trust and obey His word.

The BIG Shake!

I have read lately from 1 John and in Chapter 2 and verse 16 it says (in the expanded version of the Bible)

"These are the ways of (all that is in/associated with) the world: wanting to please our sinful selves (the desire/lust of the flesh), wanting the sinful things we see (the desire/lust of the eyes), and being too proud of what we have (the pride of life/possessions). None of these come from the Father, but all of them come from the world."

Now reading all that - I started to think WOW! that's me - I'm proud, I desire things of the world and I want to please myself - where does that leave me?? I pondered.

I can tell you where it leaves me - open to the BIG shake in our lives - when the waves batter us down and the wind blows our little teepee to the far outreaches.

Pride and wanting to please oneself:  horrible, sneaky, crafty and so evil! -  These need to be rooted out of our lives. If not they can eventually destroy us.

We often come to Jesus on the basis of what he can do for us rather that for who He is.

Many have come to Jesus and gone to church for years and even prayed the sinners prayer yet when they have gone through the "Big Shake" in their lives become resentful of God and have the "I prayed and asked God to do this and he didn't" attitude.

These are folk who are serving Him for what he can give them - Mark 4:16 type people.

God never promised us an easy ride in life all we have to do is to trust Him wholly.

When bad things happen in our lives, we get the BIG shake up and we can't cope - things go haywire and we lose our focus on Jesus and look to the world to fix things.

It's so easy to blame God in these circumstances, we forget what He has already paid for us to be free. We also forget what our future would have held for us had He not saved us. We see through the eyes of the word - not through the eternal eyes of God.

Once we have given our lives totally to Jesus we are not our own - we have been bought with a HUGE price by Him - we are the apple of His eye - the pearl of great price - so in that context we cannot 'blame' Him because we are not ours anyway but His!

When we have that attitude we cannot see our true circumstances and our faith in Jesus is weakened if not dead already.

BUT... when we are truly His, completely and utterly then nothing can come along to give us the BIG shake. Our lives can't be smashed on the rocks of doubt and despair.

Yes we will be often confused and possibly a bit bewildered, especially if we look at our problems, grief and despair through the eyes of the world. Very often God does not answer us in the way we expect - it is then we have to pray - "I trust you Lord even though I don't understand."

Jesus paid a HUGE price for our salvation. We should never fail to acknowledge this and to trust him more and more each day - even in the little things that distract and often infuriate us to the point of frustration.

Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12 how he had pleaded with the Lord three times for a problem to be removed and the answer he received?

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" What an amazing answer!

God's amazing grace is sufficient for us as it was for Paul - if none of our prayers are ever answered in the way we want, then let us like Paul be content with that awesome promise that "His grace is sufficient" - That is enough - in that we can be content.

Nothing can shake us - nothing can alarm - no frustration, grief or anxiety can take hold and destroy us .
His Grace is sufficient.











 

Please get me out of here!

Oscar was an Orange tree! he wasn't just an ordinary orange tree he was a tiny tiny orange tree - in fact he was so tiny that with the naked eye - you could hardly distinguish Oscar from the tiny seed where he had spent a happy few months all curled up inside safe and warm inside the hard pod.

He had hardly known his Mum and Dad because they had lots and lots of other little oranges all growing on the big tree that he had known as his home - so they didn't really have enough time to devote themselves to his welfare and his alone. But an orange tree he was!

He was pretty chuffed about being a orange tree - after all there was not many or his siblings that even had the remotest chance of growing into an orange let alone a tree!

So here he was - hand picked by the farmer placed in a big warm shiny room, with lights and warm moist soil - he could literally feel the warmth generating through the hard shell of his seed pod and he could feel the life stirring in his body.

He had tried for weeks to burst though that hard casing and he was a bit shocked when one day he did just that - he immediately set down the tiniest roots to grab onto the warmth of the soil and it felt so good - I am a tree - just like my Mum and Dad YAY!

Every day the farmer would arrive and give him nice warm drinks and feed up the soil which gave Oscar more and more nutrients. he was even more excited when one day he noticed that he had grown a leaf, then two then three - life was getting pretty exciting for Oscar the orange tree.

So, as the weeks went on Oscar grew and grew and he noticed that there were other trees just like him all around.  He also noted that the roots he was sending into the warm soil along with those of his friends were becoming quite crowded and getting a bit uncomfortable.

One day the farmer came and exclaimed that it was time he was separated from all the others and transplanted into a special garden called a "pot" where he could grow stronger. Oscar was excited but sad to be leaving his friends - still, he was very willing to go.

The new garden 'pot' was pretty special - heaps of warm soil and stacks of room. It was a bit of a shock at first but he soon got used to the idea and he was beginning to grow stronger every day.

The Farmer came in one day and said 'Now mate, its time you were pruned back a bit and a special graft will be put into your stem so that you can grow the best oranges in the land" - Oscar was shocked "cut back and grafted - will it hurt?" - And yes it did hurt but in the hands of the Farmer, Oscar felt safe and confident and soon the new graft was busy feeding from the nutrient filled sap that was being supplied.

Not long after this - Oscar, the new graft and his Garden pot were shoved on the back of a truck and whisked off to the markets to sell. All the other trees in the back of the truck were wondering what ever was to become of them but Oscar was excited to find out where he was destined to go.

Off the truck, loaded onto a wire trolley, wheeled into a big open room, sprayed with a big old hose and shoved together with his mates. A sign saying "$14 special" strung around his juvenile branches and he was off on his adventure.

A couple of hours passed when a young boy arrived with his Mum. "Mum, can we buy one of these trees - please Mum?' "Charlie - they are orange trees - what ever will we do with an orange tree - our backyard is so tiny!" But Charlie insisted "Please Mum I would love to have an orange tree" - Mum finally relented.

With that Charlie picked up Oscar's garden pot and carried him off to the sales assistant. Oscar was shocked again - "I don't want to go with him - I don't want to go!! I DON'T WANT TO GO". But go he went.

When they arrived home, Charlie didn't really know where to plant his new tree. Mum insisted that it not go in the garden - "Take it outside, maybe somewhere near that old park near the river she suggested".

Charlie and Oscar wandered off - Charlie armed with a shovel, Oscar scared out of his wits.

Down to the river they went and Charlie dug a deep hole - the soil was wet, dank and smelly. Charlie  shoved Oscar in and stomped around the hole with his boot and left. So there was Oscar - alone and very scared.

"I don't want to be here - I REALLY don't want to be here" sobbed Oscar. Night fell and it was the spookiest place to be - night animals came around and sniffed at Oscar - the river rose and fell, owls screeched and big water rats scampered by.

The next morning came and Oscar's leaves had been eaten by some grub - the river had washed away some of his soil and he was all alone.

Then the heat came - one of the hottest days in his living memory - no shade - just the sweltering on-going heat, then the wind came - a hurricane! Oscar was sure of it - he grasped on for all of his might. He could feel the smelly wet soil weakening but he hung on with all of his might.

"Get me out of here!" he screamed Put me in some place away from the sweltering heat and the windy storms" But no-one came - even Charlie had seemed to forget all about Oscar so the only thing he could do was to hang on tight and send his roots down deeper and deeper into that dank old soil and drink the from the floods that often swept around his feet and tried to erode his soil.
Then after a few months a strange thing happened....

Oscar found that the more adversities he faced the greater grew his stability - he grew and grew - nourished by the river and his roots grew strong and deep until eventually even the some of he biggest and fiercest of storms could not topple Oscar from his precarious place by that river bed.

As the years went on Oscar produced some of the juiciest and best oranges in the district - The winters were freezing but Oscar's fruit was the sweetest. His fame grew far and wide - birds made their homes in his lofty branches and people would picnic underneath his shade and eat the delicious fruit he provided.

So what can we learn from Oscar the Orange tree?

Many Christians are not happy in the place where God puts them - they run from church to church looking for acceptance. If they are not recognised or encouraged they become offended and so easily blame others. They become blind to their own character faults and flaws and are not prepared to accept that God wants them to be refined and matured in Him through that very pressure that they felt they were under.

If we just stop running from spiritual resistance, our own root systems would have a chance to become deeper and stronger and our own fruit would become plentiful and sweeter. We would mature in Him and not become weak and stunted and finally uprooted by the storms and traumas in life.

Citrus growers everywhere know that the colder the winter the sweeter the oranges:  we need adversities to grow and mature - to strengthen our resolve in Him; to cement our faith and reliance on Jesus.

God also prunes us and grafts His Spirit inside of us so that whatever happens we can grow strong in Him - grasping onto the promises of his unending love and faithfulness.

Verse 3 of Psalm 1 describes such a person who has matured in Him. "He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth it's fruit in it's season, whose leaf also shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper"

So what sort of tree are you? Are you easily offended? Are you ever ready to find fault and criticise. Maybe you feel alone and left-out of church, the ministers or leaders don't recognise or encourage you?

Have you ever considered that God has planted you in this place at this time? - He knows that you will grow in Him if you can withstand the adversities thrown at you which will make you strong and mature in your Christian walk of faith.

Put your hand in His; trust His judgement and leading - not yours.

God bless you as you glorify Him and delight in the place where He has planted you.

Choosing

Boy! I hate making decisions - always have done and I guess by now I never will be comfortable in that particular arena.

I reckon decisions are made every day sometimes quite unconsciously. We make decisions about what to eat, what to wear, where to go, who to see and the list goes on and on.

So in the long run I guess we all make decisions.

On saying that I know deep down that some decisions are huge! We have a struggle with these big decisions striving to make sure we get them right.

Making life and death decisions is frightening and nerve-racking to say the least and making a decision to hand your life over to Jesus is ONE BIG decision that I personally have never regretted.  But for some, I know, that decision has been a struggle that has required heaps of soul searching, contemplation and discipline.

Regardless of how you felt when and if you accepted Jesus as Lord in your life,  making that decision is a life-changing event.

Choosing a Christian life can be very fulfilling but what happens in the bad times? As you aware bad times will come regardless of whether you are a Christian or not.

What happens when your life goes pear-shaped - when your child dies, when your marriage collapses, when you are abandoned by your partner, when you lose your job or your possessions?

When we have to wrestle with life - when it ceases to be the kind of life it was meant to be what then?

These times can test the most faithful of us.

That's when we get to make real decisions and choose.

We can choose to get angry. We can choose to walk away, Even pleading with God that eternal question WHY??

We pray and plead with God to answer in the way we want but often our prayers seemingly go the other way and so different from what we prayed for.

So yes! we can choose so many different paths to take when things go so badly for us or there is a better way:-

We can choose to simply trust our Lord and Saviour. Trusting Him even though His ways are not our ways. To know there is some sort of purpose in the extreme pain.

We will still ask WHY? Of course we will but we can trust our God to make some sort of sense out of all of this.

God knows the end from the beginning - He is not with us wondering what is going to happen from one minute to the next with plans A, B, C & D up His sleeve on the off-chance that things planned will go awry.

Of course not - He is omnipotent and Holy - nothing escapes Him.

So when bad things happen - he knows about it - the thing is for us to keep trusting even though we may never know the real reason for it.

Years ago friends of ours lost their 3 month old daughter to cot death. Rebecca was their only daughter and of course they were devastated.

They could have chosen to blame God like millions of others have done, They could have chosen to get angry and walk away with their pain held closely to them and turned their backs on God.

In that horrible time they cried out to God "WHY?" Of course they did. But at the same time, they chose to throw themselves into the everlasting arms of the Lord and simply pray "we can't do this on their own"  - They needed God to see them through that time.

They needed to know that were not alone, that He was near them. They will never know why she was taken from them - They will never know what life held for that precious little angel but they did know that God held them through that time and their trust in Him was real and sustaining.

So how about you? - what do you choose in the bad times - you can choose to get angry - you can choose to walk away, in fact you can choose any number of avenues but...

As a Christian you can find peace during these tough times - times that can often drive others to suicide. Peace driven by the amazing gift of the Holy Spirit.

So right in the very centre of the most devastating experiences, deep down in our very being are God's gifts of peace, joy and above all hope.

How a 20 year old slip of paper saved my life

I was always a 'good' boy!

Loved my mum and dad and always stuck by the rules - never really got into trouble (well maybe just a little) and nearly always did what I was told.

When my parents said to do something I would snap to and do it - from music practise to washing up  -  I was your boy.

School was always a drag but then I guess I didn't have that on my own. All of my efforts were put into pleasing my parents and basking in the security that they offered.

I was very fortunate in having a Mum and Dad who loved Jesus and believed strongly in His leadership. As a family we were hauled off to church each week and I knew all the Bible stories and heaps of verses.

Mum prayed with us often and encouraged us to give our lives to Jesus and I guess at an early stage in my life I did just that. Not that it meant any sort of change in my life and in some ways I took Jesus and His amazing work totally for granted.

So here I was growing up on a type of merry-go-round of church, school and youth group and all the while never really thinking that Jesus' message really meant me.

I was the 'good' boy, never really changing, life travelling along OK, meeting kids my own age and generally enjoying life as it was. Getting a job and meeting the girl of dreams just added to my idyllic lifestyle. Just another day in Paradise you could say.

I guess it may have been the Vietnam War and Australia's decision to conscript 20 year old males into the army that I first had a real change in my life - During my 19th year I had heaps of time to think about what life would be like in the army or even warfare in Vietnam.

It was during this time I had my first real confrontation with God (if I could put it that way). I was concerned about being drafted into the army and I suppose during that time I tried praying - really praying for possibly the very first time in my life. Did it make a change in my life? I doubt it. But I was quietly pleased when the conscription ballot finally fell and I had missed out.

Did I think of God after that - unfortunately No. It wasn't until we had a couple of children and we were attending an old historic church, cold, drafty and full of 'old' people that God worked an amazing miracle in my life.

I was on a roster of welcoming people to church and this particular rota fell on a night service. Grumbling about driving into town on a cold winters night, I felt a fraction better leaving the family at home all warm and cosy. I remember thinking that no-one will be in church on such a cold, wet and windy night - I should stay at home.

And cold, wet and windy it was - the church was pretty much vacant - You could hear the wind whistling through the big old doors as I walked up the steps to do my duty.

As I walked in the wind picked up and blew a piece of old yellowing paper onto the floor at my feet. I picked it up and not thinking anything about it got onto welcoming the very few church members.

As I stood there and the service started - I glanced down at the paper - it was an old Christian tract written 20 years before. As I turned it over in my hand these words leaped out at me - "I will never leave you or forsake you".

That's all....That amazing verse in Hebrews had the most awesome effect on me. GOD MEANS ME!!! ME - HE MEANS ME! HE REALLY REALLY MEANS ME.

I couldn't believe it - The God I had 'talked' to for years was actually talking back to me - He was never going to leave me.

Right there and then I asked Him into life - As I stood in that old windy porch clutching onto an old yellow piece of torn paper. GOD MEANS ME!

My life has changed so much since then  - God has seen me though some horrible and nasty times - times when I doubt I would have made it except for his great love and patience.

I still sin, I always will until I finally get to glory and I have a new mind and body - but Jesus died to renew my relationship with Him not to condemn me for the past and future sins.

Have you been convicted of your need to have Jesus take control of your life?

We all have our different stories of how we feel about Jesus or what we have done with Him. We all need to make a decision one way or another - either accept Jesus as Lord or reject Him ... but hey He will never turn you away.

All you need to do is to pray a prayer just like this:-

Dear God,

I know I have sinned against you and I have fallen short of your standards.

Thank you for not leaving me in this state and I believe that You sent Jesus to 

die as a payment for my sins.

Please forgive me for all of the sins I have done.

I want to live for you and not for myself - please come and take 100% control of my life. Amen.

If you prayed that prayer, please contact us or another Christian person so that we can pray and encourage you in your Christian walk.

God and the bully

Ever been bullied?

Not nice is it - been there done that I hear you say - and when It comes right down to it I guess we have  all felt it to some degree or at least known about it - Heaven forbid we have even been a bully!

Bullying is not something new - been around for generations and had disastrous effects.

Bullying was certainly around at the time of Jesus - the Pharisees were the "Kings of bullying" in his time - they bullied everyone and certainly didn't like it when someone like Jesus came along - someone different with a message different to theirs - a message of love, hope and forgiveness instead of laws, rules and damnation.

So here we are in the 21st century and bullying has reached an all time peak or so it seems - we read about it constantly - we see it on Youtube and you just have to look at the net for countless ways of coping with and dealing with bullying.

So what are the hallmarks of a bully?

A bully is someone who in some ways I guess resembles a predator. a person who is on the lookout for someone who is weaker or someone who can be 'taken down'.

Look at the big cats of prey - what do they do - they are on the lookout for the weak or the vulnerable of the herds - they watch and wait for just the right moment - then they separate them from the crowd, wear them down with constant chasing and then when the moment is right attack.

It is like that with bullies - they love to separate their victims. Turning others against their victim is probably one the basic rules of being a bully - if they can get the victim to feel isolated, alone and vulnerable then they are ripe for the picking.

The aggression caused by a bully can be physical - like fisty-cuffs, pushing biting etc or verbal - name calling, ridicule, insults, intimidation, nasty glances etc or today through cyber space - quietly undermining the victims confidence.

Bullying like all sorts of abuse is perpetrated a lot of the time by predators who in fact are cowardly. They bully to get noticed and to 'win' certain friends. they bully to put others down and to isolate them from friends and relatives.

I personally have been bullied; unfortunately mine was with a sibling - being the youngest I was always more sensitive, cautious and far more quieter than my siblings. I also had a negative view of violence, I was non-aggressive and withdrew from confrontations, I cried often if attacked and had an anxious vulnerability, often gripped with fear and so was certainly a prime subject for the bigger more aggressive sibling predator/bully.

In so doing the bully/sibling took great delight in putting me down - making me feel unworthy and incapable of achieving. These negative feelings of a bully's victim can follow all through life and can affect the victim constantly.

No one likes a bully but no one really likes a continual victim either! - we need at some stage to stick up for ourselves and put those times behind us - or else we can become what I like to call an 'eternal victim' - forever the one picked on and having negative views of themselves and their abilities.

So what is the answer and where do we go to from here?

"Turning the other cheek" is great - and Jesus Himself said so but it is interesting to note that when He was facing his accusers before His vile crucifixtion he was slapped in the face by one of the brutish soldiers. What did he do? He didn't turn the other cheek so that the coward could slap him again but rather responded by asking the bully what it was that he had done so wrong  (John 18:19-23)

Jesus, here, actually defended himself verbally. He confronted a bully and demanded an answer.

Jesus never contradicted Himself so why here? C.S. Lewis, explains it quite well "Jesus does not want his followers to be neither motivated nor consumed by revenge - He doesn't want His followers to return insult for insult."

I feel when a christian is confronted with something like bullying, self-defence is not the same as revenge. Lewis' essay "Why I am Not a Pacifist" hits the nail on the head when he says that "one can defend themselves while at the same time not abuse or demean another person."

Being the victim of bullying certainly doesn't mean that you have to remain a victim - God is our hope and strength in times of trouble that's for sure. With Him we are never alone and there is no need to  'throw in the towel', curl up into a foetal position and become a 'forever victim'.

Jesus Himself, after everything He went through, was NOT a victim. The cowards, predators and bully's however paid the price - just like they will today.

It is not up to us to seek revenge - If we love the Lord, He has got us covered in every situation. We need, however,  to take control of the bullying situation, we need to take appropriate steps to defend ourselves and our loved ones.

Look to Jesus, He is the perfect example of how to cope with bullies.

Don't worry - just pray

For years and years I have had a policy of worrying!!

I worry about just about everything - you name it - I will worry about it.

It drives my family bonkers to say the least. I would worry about the slightest things - the things that most people wouldn't even think about.

When I was a child - and exams at school came around - I was almost prostrate with worry and anxiousness - with the result exam marks went down and school work suffered.

I worried about my job, my family even my health and even sleeping habits - can you believe it???

I tried everything from relaxing music to naturopathy to hypnotherapy - all to no avail - a lost cause a total write off.

But hey!! a little worry and anxiety can be good for you - it can prepare you for important issues like a job interview - it can keep the adrenaline pumping through to your heart and keep you alive and awake - ready to take on the world.

BUT.... excessive worriers like me react differently to the norm -we see things from different parallel to most and all it takes is a trigger to set us off.

Even thinking about a situation can cause chronic distress and disability. Excessive worrying or ongoing fear can cause some to become irrational so that people like me can't focus on reality.They can think of nothing else but the anxiousness that they are feeling and have HUGE difficulties on shaking off their worries.

So how do we cope in situations like this? - I must admit it takes it out of you when the Constancy of on-going worry makes you unable to cope with the slightest problem and hiccup along life's way.

Joyce Meyer once said - "Worry is like a rocking chair  - it's always in motion but it never takes you anywhere" - How true that is - but when you are in the midst of your cycle of never-ending worry - how do you get out??

It wasn't until I had an amazing turn of event that changed my life completely  - It made me see things from a different angle and made me aware of the awesomeness and righteousness of God - GOD IS ALIVE and willing to help us out of all our troubles - even this one - believe it or not!!!

When we worry - we actually do Satan's job for him - we take the trust out the relationship with God and instead of 'casting our cares upon Jesus' we take the the burden of our worries upon ourselves and forget the trust angle all together.

We play straight into the hands of the Accuser whose main aim is to get us to to STOP trusting God and rely on ourselves. We need to trust God and to humble ourselves to His will - forget about ourselves and believe what he says and look to the example of Jesus in everything we do.

If we don't humble ourselves and trust God then He can't really help us - Our need of Him and total trust in Him must come from a humble and contrite heart. We still need to do what we can do and trust God for those things that we can't do.

God has given us the amazing gift of life - don't throw it in the curb because of worry and anxiousness. If you are stuck in the middle of the never-ending cycle of worry and there seemingly is no way out - why not give God's way a chance.

We so need to stop putting ourselves in the drivers seat - stop snatching the wheel away from God and let Him take control. And what would make us do this? Only our desire to please Him and not ourselves. That's what it means to 'humble' ourselves before God.

So where do you sit in the 'worry' scale? Are you like I was, burdened with anxiousness and worry - having just enough faith to have asked for forgiveness and received salvation in the first place but not walking daily with God - every hour - every moment?

God is amazingly and spectacularly faithful - what he says He will do - He said "I will never leave you" and he means it! All we need to do is to trust Him completely to do what he says.

Try it - I know His ways are best and true and in so doing you will be prepared for just about anything that comes along.

Of course we will continue to be concerned when life throws us a wobbly but with God on our side anxiousness, stress and constant worry have no real power in our lives.

Here is a link to good old song by Evie Tonquist - just about to sums it up I feel. Enjoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k5DKcmKAwI

Whispers

 On your walk with Jesus have you ever felt the "guilts" - I certainly have  and can assure you they are not nice!!

Feeling guilty and not good enough for God and the "am I truly saved?" feeling can be devastatingly horrible.

Heaps of us Believers hear these condemning thoughts and we often sadly think that God is the author of these. - so wrong!!

God never tells you that you are worthless - he never tells you that you are loser - He never tells you that you are not good enough - He never tells you that you have overstepped the mark.

Jesus Himself said "I didn't come to condemn the world, but to save it" (John12:47)

So I hear you asking - "what about conviction by the Holy Spirit? doesn't feeling sorry cause us to feel regret for the wrongs in our lives"?

Yes it certainly does - convicting us of sin is one of, if not THE main jobs of the Holy Spirit - but there is a world of difference in the convictions of sin and the condemnation of being in sin.

Being convicted of sin makes us 'feel' just a little bit of the Spirits grief over what we have done to ourselves or others. God's Spirit makes us (if I can put it like that) feel sorrowful to the point of repentance.

The whole point of this sorrow is to enforce to us or to ensure that this area where we have fallen now can be avoided in the future. It is more about GUIDANCE  then JUDGEMENT.

God loves to lead us out of Sin and His Spirit whispers to our hearts - "Come follow me - I love you - this is the way to go"

The Accuser on the other hand wants us left wallowing in our sin and whispers in our ears "You are to
blame for this mess you are in - you have done it now - Can't you see God is saying you are far too bad to repent"

So how can we distinguish between the pangs of conscience caused by God's Spirit motivated by His great love and the 'blaming condemnation' of the Accuser?

Godly sorrow and our need to repent motivates us to change or alter our future behaviour - we can put aside our 'guilt' feelings and move forward with Jesus - knowing that our sins are forgiven.

On the other hand the Spirit of the Accuser 'stuns' us into immobility constantly waving our shame and guilt like a big black wet blanket - always referring to the past - accusing and shaming us.

God's whispers point us forward - Satan's whispers  points us backward.

Gods Holy Spirit's intention is not to make constant re-runs of past wrongs- accusing us over an over again and reminding us of the consequences - If that is your problem you can be assured that the message you are getting is definitely not from God but from the evil spirited - the Accuser trying hard to get your focus off God and onto yourself.

God's way is to end sins' power over us not to protract the agony of unforgiveness!!

So the upshot is - Spiritual conviction brings us to repentance without regrets. So should we feel sorry for what we did - Of course we do but when that sorry turns into self-reproach and shame you can almost guarantee that your repentance has been hijacked by the accuser.

Don't listen to Satan's whispers - God's intention of repentance isn't to put us on probation  - His holy spirit convicts us, we repent and He forgives and forgets.

Deadly Secrets

Ever had the past thrown up in your face? Just when you think you past is over and forgotten, some secret comes screaming back at you  - that secret is no longer secret!

A lot of Christians can relate horror stories about past sins that have "caught up" with them.

In my past blogs (The Hauntings & Blood Stained Pages) I have attempted to answer the question of past sins and how we as Christians can have those feelings of guilt and self-condemnation forgiven AND forgotten.

All sin is a stark reality we must all deal with sooner or later in our lives - not one of us escapes! - We all have rebelled against God and His standards. Only through Jesus' death can we be forgiven.

In Jesus, even the most heinous of sins can be blotted out by His Sacrifice  - if you turn to 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 there are heaps of sins mentioned there that are totally covered by His death on Calvary.

Salvation is by grace and grace forgives.

But what about those 'secret sins'? - What secret sins? I hear you ask.

Our 'secret sins' can be our jealousy, slander, innocent enough sounding gossip, conceit, pride, greed, money worshiping, drunkenness, fraud, stealing, idolatry, bad motives, lust, pornography, adultery and the list goes on and on - some seemingly quite innocent and happen day to day before we even notice.

Even our very thoughts can lead us to sin - so we are seemingly trapped in this never ending and ever widening cycle of our 'deadly secrets'.

Satan is king of strategies! - He is a master of using our secret sins, those no-one knows about, he whispers in our ears to keep them in hiding, maybe justifying them or blaming others so that God will shift that blame somehow onto them and see you as the innocent party. Either way our 'secrets' can remain just that - secrets - our own little realm - out of sight but not really out of mind.

However, on saying that, it is possible through the work of God's Spirit inside of us that we can take up the 'armor of God' He has provided and ready ourselves for battle. Or, on the other hand, we can give in to whatever our particular 'secret sin' is that plagues our lives.

The battle can often be overwhelming and we can be defeated but due to our amazing forgiving Lord we need not be demoralised.

When we sin God's Holy Spirit convicts us  and helps us recognise what we have done and encourages us to ask for forgiveness.

May I add here, that God in His infinite mercy wants desperately to have a relationship with us - He is not a Pharisee, always picking fault, and throwing past sins in our faces. His mercy and forgiveness is boundless and free.

So, when confronted by your 'secret sins' admit to them, fess up, name them out loud if you have to and ask God's forgiveness and His help in nailing them to Jesus cross. I heard someone say once that "it is not the sound of a gavel pounding out justice to our guilt but the sound of a hammer hammering our sins to the cross of Christ."

Once those sins are hammered there, no-one can ever pry them off.

So right in the early stages, admit your 'secret sins' and walk away, then we don't have to worry about them coming back to haunt us.

"Closer than a Brother" or "Sibling Rivalry?"

Proverbs 18:24 refers to a "Friend who sticks closer than a brother".

Brothers!!! WOW! Wouldn't it be great if all brothers would stick together like the Proverbs verse!

The writer here seems to assume that all brothers (and I guess I can throw in here siblings) are naturally close and it would have to be a one-in-a-million type of friend who would or could be ever closer.

Reading the account of Joseph in the old testament I re-read the incident of when the brothers had again come to Egypt to beg/buy food off the "Governor", little realising that the "Governor" in question was their very own brother Joseph whom they had sold into slavery.

Joseph had narrowly missed out on being murdered by his siblings and was only rescued at the last minute by the opportune arrival of merchants/slave traders on their way to Egypt.

Anyway back to story:-  Here is Judah, one of the elder brothers so willing to expedite his murderous plan to annihilate Joseph years before, jumping to the rescue of Benjamin, the kid brother, who was accused of stealing and faced certain death.

Throwing himself on the mercy of the Governor (Joseph) and begging to save Benjamin's life and trading it for his own.

WHOA! what a turn around - Obviously Judah had learnt a HUGE lesson that brothers are indeed family and as such worthy to be loved and respected.

In the case of Judah and Benjamin, the Bible's idea of a brother is someone who refuses to walk away, even when everyone else has split!

So how are you shaping up? How does your relationship with your siblings stack up to the Biblical ideal? How close do you stick to your brothers and sisters?

Can they get comfort from you when things go pear-shaped? Can they count on you to confront them when you see warning signs in their lives?

Would you go into bat for your siblings like Judah did for Benjamin?

Heaps of questions that made me think! Sibling love and respect is a fine and a beautiful thing but what about when brothers fall out?

I can hear you saying what if my brother/sister won't forgive? What if you have tried to reconcile on several occasions and he/she has refused all of your attempts?

Forgiveness is not an "if we like, airy fairy , luvvie duvvy" feeling we get that will make things all cosy and rosy again in the family. TRUE forgiveness comes from the heart and the very soul of a person and prompted by the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness is mandatory, compulsory and obligatory if we want to have any sort of relationship with God - and forgiveness is not just lip service either. Forgiveness needs to come from a heart changed by God and a life lived and ruled by the Holy Spirit.

What if you just can't reconcile the situation and he/she won't have anything to do with you? What if you are a Christian, will the non-reconciliation of a brother or sister spoil your relationship with God? Could that possibly happen even if you have been faithful and true to the Lord?

Romans 12:18 says we are to do everything possible to live at peace with one another, as far as it depends on us. But we are not responsible for the actions of anyone else including our siblings and parents.  Their behaviour as far as their refusal to forgive cannot penalise our future with God.

Matthew 18 also talks about this subject.

We do however need to show our sibling through our behaviour, the same love and understanding that Jesus showed. We need to reflect his humility and goodness whenever we have dealings with them and always be ready to show love and forgiveness at all times.  We should never seek revenge, and always think of them as more important than our feelings of hurt.

Praying always that our siblings will come to a point in their lives where, maybe through your witness of a life changed by God, that they will be able to forgive and reconcile.