"Closer than a Brother" or "Sibling Rivalry?"

Proverbs 18:24 refers to a "Friend who sticks closer than a brother".

Brothers!!! WOW! Wouldn't it be great if all brothers would stick together like the Proverbs verse!

The writer here seems to assume that all brothers (and I guess I can throw in here siblings) are naturally close and it would have to be a one-in-a-million type of friend who would or could be ever closer.

Reading the account of Joseph in the old testament I re-read the incident of when the brothers had again come to Egypt to beg/buy food off the "Governor", little realising that the "Governor" in question was their very own brother Joseph whom they had sold into slavery.

Joseph had narrowly missed out on being murdered by his siblings and was only rescued at the last minute by the opportune arrival of merchants/slave traders on their way to Egypt.

Anyway back to story:-  Here is Judah, one of the elder brothers so willing to expedite his murderous plan to annihilate Joseph years before, jumping to the rescue of Benjamin, the kid brother, who was accused of stealing and faced certain death.

Throwing himself on the mercy of the Governor (Joseph) and begging to save Benjamin's life and trading it for his own.

WHOA! what a turn around - Obviously Judah had learnt a HUGE lesson that brothers are indeed family and as such worthy to be loved and respected.

In the case of Judah and Benjamin, the Bible's idea of a brother is someone who refuses to walk away, even when everyone else has split!

So how are you shaping up? How does your relationship with your siblings stack up to the Biblical ideal? How close do you stick to your brothers and sisters?

Can they get comfort from you when things go pear-shaped? Can they count on you to confront them when you see warning signs in their lives?

Would you go into bat for your siblings like Judah did for Benjamin?

Heaps of questions that made me think! Sibling love and respect is a fine and a beautiful thing but what about when brothers fall out?

I can hear you saying what if my brother/sister won't forgive? What if you have tried to reconcile on several occasions and he/she has refused all of your attempts?

Forgiveness is not an "if we like, airy fairy , luvvie duvvy" feeling we get that will make things all cosy and rosy again in the family. TRUE forgiveness comes from the heart and the very soul of a person and prompted by the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness is mandatory, compulsory and obligatory if we want to have any sort of relationship with God - and forgiveness is not just lip service either. Forgiveness needs to come from a heart changed by God and a life lived and ruled by the Holy Spirit.

What if you just can't reconcile the situation and he/she won't have anything to do with you? What if you are a Christian, will the non-reconciliation of a brother or sister spoil your relationship with God? Could that possibly happen even if you have been faithful and true to the Lord?

Romans 12:18 says we are to do everything possible to live at peace with one another, as far as it depends on us. But we are not responsible for the actions of anyone else including our siblings and parents.  Their behaviour as far as their refusal to forgive cannot penalise our future with God.

Matthew 18 also talks about this subject.

We do however need to show our sibling through our behaviour, the same love and understanding that Jesus showed. We need to reflect his humility and goodness whenever we have dealings with them and always be ready to show love and forgiveness at all times.  We should never seek revenge, and always think of them as more important than our feelings of hurt.

Praying always that our siblings will come to a point in their lives where, maybe through your witness of a life changed by God, that they will be able to forgive and reconcile.

Ordinary or Extraordinary?

Think God can't use a person like you? Think again!

You may be thinking "I can never be of any use to God - I'm too old - what use has my life been" - or you may be thinking "I am just a brand new Christian - way not enough experience to be used by God"  - well I really want you to re-think your position and how God can use you.

BE EXTRAORDINARY NOT ORDINARY

I was astounded just recently when someone shared with me how I had been used by God without even knowing it!

We hadn't seen other for years nor had we communicated in any way but as soon we saw each other his first words were "I will never forget how God used you to help my ministry" - I was dumbfounded.

It all happened way way back when I was in Human Resources for a pretty big company and we were in the process of updating our computer system.  Transferring our computers from one brand to another was taking it's time and costing heaps of money no doubt.

The offer was given that the redundant computers were to be offered to charities or church affiliated bodies - so I had a quick ring around.

The first person I called was this friend who at that time was a young minister just starting out in his first church. I thought in my innocence that maybe, just maybe he could use a computer for his ministry.

Unbeknown to me, he and his Bible study group had just been praying for a computer and no sooner had they finished the prayer when my phone call arrived - I had no idea! - He was so amazed he didn't tell me until just the other day when we happened to meet after many years.

That is just one little experience of how God uses people even in the so-called 'little' things. It is these 'little' things that often astounds us as to the interest God takes in our lives - He loves us so.

When you think about it - God used a murderer to lead his people out of slavery in Egypt. He surrounded his Son with a group of uneducated fisherman and workers. One of the number, Matthew, was a tax collector working for the Romans. Tax Collectors were a despised group of Jews that were looked upon as traitors and treasonists.

He used a man who tortured Christians horribly, stoning them and ripping families apart to watch them die slow and agonising deaths, to spearhead the spread of Christianity throughout the Roman Empire.

He used a one hundred year old man and his ninety nine year old wife to become parents of the chosen race of Israel, a lowly shepherd boy to become the greatest king to lead that race and the most amazing of all a young innocent girl to become the mother of Jesus.

You may also be thinking - "what a mess I have made in my life - I am such a failure - God couldn't possibly use me."

That isn't at all true! God uses our failures, trials, misfortunes and yes even our misery and guilt to glorify is kingdom. you may say you are a failure BUT because of what Jesus did on that cross over two thousand years ago, God sees you as victorious. He can turn the bad things and so-called failures into good to testify to His grace.

The fact is, we need to make ourselves available to God and he will use us.

We need to be humble - God can't use the proud - He never has. The Pharisees of long ago were a proud lot, judging others and always pointing out bad behaviour and attitude.

Paul was one of the most educated people of his day but he was also one of the proudest. God broke him down in the most spectacular way on the road to Damascus and he was never the same again. He became a humble and contrite servant of Jesus. All of his education was then directed only to the glory of God.

God knows about your past. He knows your weaknesses and insecurities. He also knows what you are capable of. God has an amazing record of taking nobodies and making them somebodies all by His grace alone.

There are untold numbers of testimonies on the Internet describing how God uses people. Some down and out, living it rough on the streets,when God reached down and pulled them out of their misery and now praising Him with awesome stories to win others. Some are astonishingly rich living life with everything the world can offer, only to realise they had nothing at all - bound in sin and hopelessness.

No matter who you are, God can make you a vital part of His incredible plan. He used an ordinary tract in an ordinary church on a cold wet and windy night, with hardly anybody there, written by an ordinary person at least two decades before, to bring me to my knees in repentance.

God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things in extraordinary ways and all to advance His kingdom.

So how about you? are you willing to let Him?

Hard work: the key to success but sadly most would prefer to pick the lock!

Work! what a dastardly horrible word!!!

I guess if everybody LOVED their jobs it wouldn't be called work would it?

Do you have to drag yourself out of bed in the morning, feeling miserable as the weekend closes just thinking about returning to the office, workroom, factory or whatever.

People, whoever they are, find themselves admiring and respecting hard work.

So whether we like it or not, the way we work and our attitude to work says heaps about you as a person; even more than that it says a whole lot more about the One we live for.

The attitude we take to work can effect our lives so much - so how do we cope with that terrible boss, that incompetent subordinate or the real nasty co-worker who makes our work life all that more impossible!

There are lots of 'things' we can do to make life on the job a little easier and to get out of the grind of eating, sleeping, working, eating, sleeping, working ad nauseam.

Take time out for yourself,  read book, listen to music, jog at lunch or find something that you like to do and do it in your break. Or, there is a better way...

Do you realise that work is part of God's plan for His people. Even in Genesis chapter 2 we are told that work is the very outcome of creation in the first place - Adam was placed in the garden to work and take care of it. The garden may not have had thorns and weeds at that time but it was work nevertheless and Adam's job was to tend to it's every need.

So where does that leave us if we 'hate' our job, nothing else on the horizon to seek after and the wage and the people are atrocious?

We can embrace that very problem by actually embracing the job.

Every work day - every assignment - every project can be treated as an opportunity to please God or... we can harbor resentment, hostility, aggression, animosity, unfriendliness and opposition in every single task given to us.

We can do 'just enough' to get by, grumbling all the way, or we can work really hard to do the very best we can in the circumstances we have found ourselves.

You know; God has to be glorified in everything we do. The question we should be asking continually to ourselves is this "Will this attitude I have bring glory to God?" "Will what I am about to do bring Glory to God?"

So how do we glorify God? - We look to Jesus - His example was flawless.

See who Jesus mixed with while here on earth. He didn't complain that his co-workers were incompetent, He didn't grumble that the weekend was over, that he had to keep going, even to the point of giving His life for us.

To be perfectly frank without Jesus to look to we wouldn't have the foggiest clue on how to even start to glorify God, but glorify God we must!

Our very existence here is to glorify God - God doesn't exist for us, we exist for Him.

We were actually made to glorify God.

So when life becomes tedious, hard, and the slog to work seems never ending look to Jesus - He is our most singular joy, our highest treasure and our greatest delight can be found in Him.

No matter what we do - no matter who we are forced to work with - no matter what the pay or conditions, do everything to His glory and to please our God. Not that we HAVE to but that we GET to.

Such a privilege to glorify and serve the very one who gave His life for us. With an attitude of Glorification to God we really can't go wrong no matter what the world throws at us.

My! How things have changed

Well it's summer time in good old Australia and with the temperatures way above 40 deg C, sweaty and hot days are the norm.

Made me think as I turned on the air conditioner just how times have changed and I began to reminisce to myself about the past.

Doesn't seem that long ago that air conditioners/central heating & cooling were a dream for the future - sort of like a scifi film of some distant future time made up of dreams and wishes.

With oscillating fans trying at least to keep the hot air moving, the family together in a hot little room with the west-facing windows heavily shaded and shut tightly to stop the hot sun from making the 'furnace' even hotter.

And bedtime! what can one say?? - laying on top of the sheets waiting for the fan at last to make it's slow revolution across your sweaty body so you could at least catch a breath of some sort of moving air and to cool the pooling sweat particles.

As kids we would talk mum into putting on the sprinkler and run back and forth around the yard like made things squirting each other with water pistols and buckets of water.

The beach Oh! the beach -  heaven awaited us! Into the car, of course minus the air conditioning and with wind down windows and all vents open we at least hoped to catch a breath of hot air as the car struggled with the family on board to get to our destination.

Once arrived, there was the run across the tarred road that almost burned the soles off your bare feet and that was even before reaching the scorching sand. Then the dash down to the water to jump in and spend the next hour or so before turning blue with cold.

The cold didn't last long before struggling back to the car to perch with bare legs and back on the blazing hot vinyl seats of dads old Holden for the journey back home where you were just as hot if not hotter than you were before the whole adventure started.

Back to the fan and a cold drink and then all hang out for the 'southerly buster' to come and cool things down to everyone's relief.

Things are so different now - with a flick of the switch we can have instant cooling/warming. Swimming pools in the backyard and air conditioned cars all go to make life that little bit more comfortable.

As a Christian I have changed too! Again, I look back over the years to where I have come from and where I have been through my Christian walk and must admit I am gobsmacked with the change that God has made in my life.

Like the wind-down windows and the oscillating fans, things were so different way back then - God to me was this BIG person way out there wielding a gigantic stick and making me do the 'right' thing and if I didn't there were all sorts of threats and punishments just waiting to be dished out.

I often thought that I would be somehow 'cut-off' from God if I stepped out of line too often and if I crossed the invisible line of His patience and make all hell (literally) break out.

Like the Israelites of long ago who were so influenced by those nations round about them I too was influenced by my distortion of God. My vision of God was one of Him being cruel, vengeful and uncaring but actually He demonstrates that He is the very opposite.

If you, like me are anxious about your thoughts, ideas, feelings and desires that so often seem to lure you away from God's plan for your life, then like the Israelites, God can and will cut-off and do away with those hurtful and wicked thoughts that pervade your mind.

You are NOT in danger of being completely cut-off or condemned in judgement, instead God applies forgiveness when needed and through His mercy and Grace and use of amazing 'spiritual surgery' removes those feelings of hopelessness and despair.

So if like me you have been thinking of God as uncaring and cruel, I hope this new understanding about Him removes much of your dread about this seemingly vengeful God. He is our Shepherd who leads, feeds and protects us.

So yes, God has brought me a fair way in my walk with Him. Every day is a new adventure. Every day His Spirit guides and directs the paths I take and fills me anew with His love and understanding.

Unfortunately I still wander off the path - Of course I do - BUT He is there ready to drag me back and make me the New Creation I know he has planned for my life.

Are you a Pharisee??

While here in earth Jesus gave his harshest criticism to the Pharisees!

Who were these amazing people?

They were the leaders of Judaism and 'kept the law" of Moses. They were so 'good' at it they became wholly devoted and aligned to it. So devoted in fact that they became extremist in limited parts of the law plus adding to it as they saw fit.

They were like the 'policemen' of the law and were down, like a ton of bricks, on anyone that dared step out of line. So you can imagine their surprise when Jesus came along.

Here He was, the very Messiah in their midst, performing miracles aplenty and changing lives radically. But instead of embracing the truth with joy - what did they do?

They killed Him of course - what else could they do? Jesus brought a message of love, hope, forgiveness, mercy and grace which was utterly opposed to the harsh, unforgiving, merciless and "you must do as we tell you unless damnation awaits" message portrayed by them.

We stand aghast at what the Pharisees eventually did to Jesus - our minds can't grip the truth of the whole deal of Jesus' death and why?

They were a sad yet zealous lot - forever searching for the wrong in peoples lives and dragging them over the coals for breaking the law no mater how trivial.

Thing is - Are we in danger of becoming a "Pharisee"? I have become somewhat concerned looking around churches of late where there seems to be a "spirit of the Pharisee" among a lot of us. Me included unfortunately!

How did this happen?

Years ago when Sue and I were fortunate enough to run a Youth Group, a lot of the young people on most Sunday nights after church would visit a fish and chip shop to hang out and eat. No a bad idea - but the place was filthy - the kids used to call it "Chips Diarrhoea" for obvious reasons - SO why OH why did they keep going back to such a "dive"? Asking them once the answer I received was "I don't know it just sort of happens?"

Shaking my head I couldn't believe that answer - surely there were heaps of other places to hang out? I couldn't believe they would even dream of darkening the door.

But sadly I reckon it is a bit like a lot of Christians today when it comes to being a 'modern-day Pharisee'. "It just sort of happens".

Lots of people have distorted views on God. The truth is that everything He arranges in life is wrapped in mercy! He is good and filled with such love, mercy and grace. God wants the very best for us - He doesn't WANT to judge and punish.

Jesus whole ministry was based solely on love and forgiveness, giving hope and encouragement. The Pharisees on the other hand wanted to punish, judge and condemn.

We can so easily fall into the habit of condemning people, looking down our noses at others judging people, speaking unkindly and in effect ruining reputations and lives.

It's so easy to point out the sin in someones life - in our churches - in our work places - of course there is sin there - we all do it! We all sin consciously or unconsciously

Of course there is sin in our lives and that on-going sin produces deep condemnation and a constant nagging worry that somehow we may have crossed an invisible line with God - Have we gone beyond Gods' grace? Having said that we continue to make very poor choices often many times a day.

Satan loves to 'get at us' this way. He loves to warp God's truth in order to lead people away from the very grace and mercy that can save them from him. God speaks to us of deliverance and His amazing plan of Salvation not of Wrath!

"Guilty, Condemned and Damned" cries the voice of the Pharisee - "Forgiven and Forgotten" whispers the voice of the grace of God.

On saying all of that, one day we will all stand before our God and King and if we haven't given our lives to him in trust and commitment then we can be truly terrified to meet Him - but God doesn't want to judge - He is NOT a Pharisee - He wants to have a relationship with us through His amazing love, mercy, grace and forgiveness.

So how are you? Are you a modern day Pharisee, even unintentionally? Are you always ready to judge others? pointing out their shortcomings to your friends.

In Proverbs 6: 16-19 there is a list of things that God hates and top of that list is what the KJV says is "Proud Eyes" - the ESV  describes verse 16 as "Haughty Eyes". Either way top dog on Gods "anger" list is looking down on others, being dismissive, judgemental and arrogant.

So again. How are you shaping up? How am I shaping up?

But don't despair, good news awaits. It's not too late we can turn back to Jesus - even well-intentioned as you may be - the spirit of the Pharisee is wrong and so sinful.

Turn back to Jesus - take a detour - make a U-turn, back track, turn around or go in reverse - whatever you do climb back up the slippery slope and I can guarantee that Jesus in His great love and mercy will be there welcoming you.

Professor or Possessor

Where are you in your walk with Christ?

I wish I had been asked that question years ago then maybe I wouldn't have wandered far and away from God but unfortunately I wasn't and I did.

Are you merely a spectator? - going to whatever place of worship you go to? Do you go because you know in your heart that you are right with God and there is nothing that hinders your relationship with Him or are you going for one or a variety of reasons known only to you?

Maybe your friends go - maybe it has become a habit after years upon years upon donkey years of going and that's where you go on Saturday/Sundays or whatever?

You, like me may have sat under countless ministers, priests or whoever and heard the saving gospel of coming to Jesus time and time again and yet something inside of you tells you that you are not right with Him.

Will you go on for maybe another 20 or 30 years professing your religion in heaps of ways and all for an outward appearance and attendance?

Easy to do - listen to the word - recite the 'sinners' prayer - sing the songs and 'worship' Jesus.

You know, we can sing all the songs we like - we can read the pages of the Bible till they fall apart - we can shake hands with the people - we can even take an active roll in the church as Secretary or Verger or dare I say it even ministering to the people yet not really know Jesus as Lord of our lives

But if God isn't in charge of our lives and if He isn't worshiped in such a way that He is glorified then all of our lip service doesn't mean zip!

I fell into this category for years - that's what we did on a Sunday - we went to church! Yay and Woohoo!

I shudder to think of exactly how many times I heard appeals and alter calls - it didn't mean me surely! - I was doing my bit - I was here - I was teaching Sunday School wasn't I? When I go out of that door that feeling of "Maybe I'm not right with God" will leave me! (and it usually did).

How many times are you going to listen to that prayer? 10,000 before it sinks in and you get the message that God means YOU? Maybe on your deathbed? - I have time you may think - well you may have to think again - No one knows when our time here on earth will cease and then what?

Sometimes we can get so accustomed to hearing the Gospel that our very souls seem to drop off to slumber land and it becomes all to blase.

Our God is a merciful and loving God - He desperately wants to have a relationship with us - He wants to guide us and nurture us - He wants to show us that love no matter what we have done or even who we have been with. He certainly doesn't want to punish us!

But He also is a just and holy God - a God who won't extend His grace forever. His love for us and the gift held out to us is now! we MUST act now tomorrow may be too late!

We need to have a holy reverence for our God - not treat Him with disrespect - He sent his Son to die for YOU! Yes YOU with all your faults and foibles - He wants YOU as you are to come to Him now.

Don't delay to commit to Jesus - we need to do it now - Handing everything over to Him - nothing held back.

Ask His forgiveness, accept His amazing Gift of the promise of His Holy Spirit living inside of you, changing and molding your life - Turn from your past and trust Him for your future.

He and He alone is the only one we can trust with our lives.

Christ Himself taking up residence inside of your life - you will never be the same again.

So if you are Professor become a Possessor and make 2014 THE most memorable year of your life.

The Gimme's

Our society makes it so easy to abandon responsibility.

Tired of your job - then walk away ! Up to your neck in bills - then declare bankruptcy! Tired of your family - then leave - abandon them - walk away the world says - you are the master/mistress of your own destiny - your responsibility ends with you and you alone.

Christmas is upon us once again - time to spend what we haven't earned and buy what we can't afford - all as long as "we are OK" - the world can keep on spinning -
I can do what I like as long as I am happy, after all I can do what I want when I want and how I want I don't have to answer to anyone because I am the centre of my universe I, I, I, I....  ad nauseam

Consumerism and the "ME FIRST" attitude  declare loud and clear their own "Christmas message"  - Spend and you will be happy!!

The acquisition of 'things' all designed to stir up in our hearts and minds just what will make us/me/I  'happy' - and pleased with myself - the accolades of others in the family when they see just how much "I" spent on them how much food "I" was able to provide and just how  big "MY" Christmas tree is PHEW!!

The "Gimme Gimme Gimme - ME FIRST" attitude only fuels a selfishness which can lead to the abandonment of family, jobs and security.

The Bible is full of stories that help us recognise the damage a "ME FIRST" attitude can do - to others and to ourselves.

Taking responsibility for others in our care, for those we love, putting them and others ahead of us in everything we do and everywhere we go is how God originally programmed us to be - That is the very reason He sent His Son to die for us on Calvary - to show His love to a hostile and "ME CENTRED" earth.

Paul refers to selfishness or "ME FIRST" as "empty conceit" - a term that I reckon could be translated as "Vanity" or "arrogance". However you see it, the term obviously refers to an overly high opinion of oneself. "ME FIRST", then is akin to narcissism, and there is no room for that in the Christian's life.

Selfishness or "ME FIRST" is really only empty conceit. The "ME FIRST" attitude or selfishness caused the children of Israel to "willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved". They wanted that food more than anything - where they happy when they got it? NO! They wanted more - the more they got the more they wanted.

It's the same with us today, we are so focused on "US" that we can so easily forget what it cost Jesus to save us from this very problem of "ME FIRST".

The very opposite of "ME FIRST" is found in Philippians 2:2 "Being united with Christ, having tenderness and compassion, being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose."

So this Christmas - let's see if we can whack the old 'ME FIRST' - smack it right out of the door.
Let's be sure we know where our treasure is.

As Christians we should hold the things of this world loosely because we are, when all is said and done, laying up our "Treasures in Heaven"

Making the possible impossible!

"Red tape" - don't you just love it - I love this quote from R.A J. Philips

"To get the attention of a large animal, be it an elephant or a bureaucracy, it helps to know what part of it feels pain. Be very sure, though, that you want its full attention."

Must say I had to have a laugh at that one - because quite frankly dealing with a bureaucracy, no matter what that bureaucracy may be, is like trying to grab a whirlwind by the tail!

Never ceases to amaze me but like Philips intimates a bureaucracy knows where your 'pain' may be and that's where inevitably the pressure lands.

Being tied up in 'red tape' is just SO frustrating - even in the little things - there are hoops to jump through and unimaginable hurdles to cross to get what seemingly is such a simple exercise - I guess we have all been there and done that.

When was the last time you had to deal with a bureaucracy? Mine was yesterday, but that is another story!

Whether it is with your insurance company, your work, your mobile service Company or some government agency, their rules and seemingly endless regulations and paperwork are ceaseless!! Real head-spinning stuff!!!

Few things are more frustrating to try to work with someone who doesn't have the right authority or even the motivation to help you with your problem whatever that problem is.

There is an endless army of bureaucrats all churning out paperwork and ideas that dazzle and confuse. The red tape flows redder and more and more consistent as the ideas keep coming from endless, often clueless middle managers all outdoing each other to reach that important goal.

Sometimes bureaucrats can go that 'extra' mile - in Phoenix a Pastor called Michael Salmon violated a zoning and building code, would you believe, when he invited friends and family into his home to talk about Jesus and Christianity.

It seems an over-zealous bureaucrat quoting rules and  throwing around red tape shuffled him off to court where he ended up doing time for his "crime"

Yes, so bureaucracy has its up side I guess but it seems we all have felt the down side.

Fortunately bureaucracy isn't an issue when it comes to God. 

We can take a problem to Him without having to deal with red-tape, rules, books, legal jargon, committees or voicemail - YAY!!!

You won't get the "Press button 1" to leave a message - He is there all the time; on time all the time.

You won't have to deal with middle managers who really don't know a thing about what you are talking about. You have direct 24-7 access to the one who has ALL the authority. The one who can and will get things done.

So don't let bureaucracy, no matter where it seems to be, get you down - we as Christians have a one-stop shop when it comes to problems.

You may have to deal with bureaucracies of all sorts here and to be honest you have my deepest sympathies and very best wishes when you have to, BUT we have a much higher court we can appeal to.

God is with us constantly, no matter where we go, what we do or whatever we are facing. 

.....and we used to be so close!

"We used to be so close"  I wonder how many times we have used that phrase?

Even now I still use the old age adage - " I wonder how we drifted apart".

Usually when we use that "and we used to be so close" phrase - it is usually followed by a long and rambling excuse as to what actually happened in your view to make the relationship collapse even disappear.

sometimes the problem is simply two people friends/relatives just drifting apart - my friend and I are like that - just didn't keep up the conversation and before you know it - years have passed and the tie between you slowly disintegrates and becomes untenable. Sad but OH so true.

More often though the problem goes deeper much deeper. The problem between two people often can be traced back to a specific incident. Something that drove a wedge between their relationship and so often very sadly the wedge is driven between family members.

Once the wedge is driven, pride can set in, unforgiveness and anger take up residence. Feelings once offended can become a festering sore; never healing and never being forgiven.

Often both parties sit back and "wait for the other one" to apologise and move toward a reconciliation.

Sadly one party may never want to forgive and that is when the rot sets in - one of them may try and try again for reconciliation but to no avail.

The unforgiving party may not realise that are trapped - trapped by their own hard and unyielding heart - they can be actually oblivious to their plight because they are totally 100% focused on their hurt either real or perceived.

It's through these horrible and testing times that Jesus has the answer. The Bible clearly States that being hurt and being offended is pretty well impossible to avoid (Luke 1:17) it is how we, through the Holy Spirit, handle the 'impossible' that will set us right not only with others but with God Himself.

Jesus didn't die so that our relationships would be tron apart by pride, hardness of heart and an unforgiving spirit.

Satan on the other hand hopes we will take the 'hurt' feelings and make them our own - that way he has this great foothold to rule in our lives and make us his. Being unforgiving and hard hearted will only play right into his hands and we stop looking to Christ, who is the author and finisher of our faith not just some ideology that makes us feel 'good' when the chips are down.

If by any chance Satan had the ability to destroy us he would have done so long before this - his power is broken - he has lost the war. The only thing he can do now is try to get as many people as possible to follow him before Christ comes again and finally puts the finishing nail into his coffin and send him and his followers to that awful/special place designed for them.

So what do we do? - It is so easy to love those who do you no wrong - that's sort of like a fluffy "you are so sweet " sort of love - flitting along on the surface. To love someone who really hates you and you have been the victim of their unforgiveness, that's when the rubber hits the road.

How do you cope? Jesus was the epitome of being a victim of unforgiveness - He didn't flinch - He gave His all to God - what a great example!

If we ask Him, He will give us the strength, wisdom and patience to share his love as much as possible even with those who openly and often refuse to have anything to do with us.

Back in October I wrote a blog   http://itsbygracealone.blogspot.com.au/2013/10/what-did-you-do-princess-atta-quote.html   - which describes how I personally had to deal with a similar situation and how God has worked in my life since.

How are you at forgiving? Have you been hurt and feel you can't possibly forgive? Do you feel some sort of invisible line has been crossed making forgiveness impossible? Are you waiting for the other person to come around first? Are you waiting for them to 'make the first move'?

Jesus says clearly through His word that we "MUST forgive others" not 'if we feel like it to make us feel better". Forgiveness is essential if we walk with Christ.

So if you are affected by the "We used to be so close" syndrome - God is telling you to do something about it before it is too late. Even if you are not to blame - you MUST try to put things right.

You never know - your act of forgiving could change the whole scenario and restore broken lives and set prisoners free.

Knowing God - One who watches!

Ever thought "I am quite alone - no-one understands me at all"  - even in a crowd we can be lonely!

Loneliness is awful - even the word Lonely sounds sad and desolate.

We can be lonely anywhere - work, home, surrounded by family and friends anywhere - no matter what we are doing or where we are.

A guy called Tim Hansel put it this way:-

"Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Loneliness is feeling alone...no matter how many people are around you. It is a feeling of being disconnected, unplugged, left out, isolated."

Simply put - we can be in a crowd supposedly enjoying ourselves and still feeling desperately lonely.

Kendra Cherry puts it this way:-

"While common definitions of loneliness describe it as a state of solitude or being alone, loneliness is actually a state of mind. Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone and unwanted."

So what are some of the causes of loneliness?

Reading a research article by John Cacioppo, a University of Chicago psychologist, loneliness is strongly connected to genetics.

Other contributing factors according to Cacioppo can be moving to a new location, divorce, the death of someone significant in a person's life, low self esteem and/or confidence. People who lack self esteem and confidence believe that they are unworthy of attention or regard of other people. This alone can lead to feelings of isolation and chronic loneliness.

According to Kendra Cherry and I have no doubt she is absolutely spot on; - Loneliness can sometimes lead to all sorts of troubles including, depression and suicide, heart disease and stroke, stress, decreased memory/learning loss, antisocial behaviour, poor decision making and even alcohol and drug abuse.

WOW!! and all through Loneliness. makes you think a bit eh? - I feel there are not too many people around who haven't felt lonely at some stage of their lives.

So what can we do about loneliness? When I feel lonely, I go back to the source of my greatest help - the Bible. Through the Bible we can find amazing truths and promises. Promises that blow us away with their honesty and encouragement.

Jesus himself felt lonely - He knew what it was like to be all alone - even his best friends betrayed, disappointed him and left Him.  Of course the ultimate loneliness for Jesus was when he cried out from the cross "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Jesus endured absolute separation from God and why? Because he didn't want any of us to know that same ultimate separation.

You know nothing escapes God's attention. He sees the little accomplishments that no one else notices. He notes the things you do to please Him.

He also sees the things we do in private - He sees how we speak to people and how we treat people at work and at school.

He sees our mistakes that wreck our self esteem and blow our confidence to pieces. He sees all! - all of our loneliness, all of the times we are 'left-out of the clique", all of our family foibles and secrets.

Although that doesn't make God the ultimate spectator! Far from it. When the action starts, God's place is right next to you, fighting, protecting, guiding, comforting and encouraging -  YES and WATCHING!!

None of us need ever fight our battles alone and knowing that God has your back, allows us to look loneliness fair in the face, recognise it for what it is, acknowledge that Jesus was there before us, put our hands in His and move onward.

Jesus died to spare us the agony that He experienced and amazingly He still lives today and is so willing to help us solve the problem of our loneliness.

Living in a cut-throat world

It's a cut throat world all right!

If you don't have a 'win-at-all-costs' attitude you can't really survive - I know some would immediately disagree but basically that's so true.

No matter were we are - at sport, in the office, school or even the gym if we aren't operating at peak performance levels, we not really considered a 'player'.

That mindset exits pretty much everywhere - competitiveness and striving to be the BEST at all costs. We see it everywhere - from the soccer field to the board room - the "power suit" and the "high heel brigade" will leave you eating their dust if you don't keep up with the game and 'shoot a few goals' of your own.


Pretty hard playing field when you take a good long look at the players and what you are up against. Their expertise and obvious confidence can leave you speechless.

They never seem to get flustered, always so cool and calm in a crises. They are always playing their "A" game.

So what do we do? Do we look for opportunities to 'tilt the playing field' in our favour - just to even things up a bit of course.

Insider information, rule bending, sucking up to the right and influential people, working all hours of the night and day, not because you have to but just to beat the person ahead of you to the post.

Steroids/drugs in sport, endless hours at the gym - it's all competitive and all fair game. Whatever it takes to be No 1 - that's for me and that's the goal!

If we buy into the win-at-all-costs mindset, anything goes - right? we can and must do what it takes in this cut-throat world.

Well - hate to be the one to say it but No! As Christians none of that is right for us - absolutely none of it.

In Proverbs 11:3 it says "The integrity of the upright will guide them, but the falseness of the treacherous will destroy them."

"Treacherous" WOW! strong word!! - God looks at the "win-at any/all-cost"as treachery. Treachery at the worst, cheating at the best.

Proverbs 20:7 says. "A righteous man who walks in his integrity; how blessed are his sons after him"

So what God is saying here is that integrity and fairness leaves a legacy - a path, if you like, for your children to follow. Now we all want to leave a legacy so what will yours be? - "integrity" or "it doesn't matter who you walk over as long as you win".

If we look deeper, the Bible is choc-a-block full of references to Godly behaviour, integrity and how to live according to God's will in your life.

God thinks it is far more important to live with these traits rather that winning!

1 Chronicles 29:17 - "I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there."

So our God actually rejoices when He finds integrity in our hearts even if we don't 'win' according to the worlds standards.

Let me say this though - integrity and truthfulness are not just 'good habits' thumped into us by caring Mums and Dads. Long lasting and faithful integrity, fairness and truthfulness can only come from a heart and soul changed permanently by God's Spirit.

It is only through the leading of the His Spirit that we can ever hope to show these traits in our lives permanently

Now nobody is perfect - I am not referring to that, but integrity is a determination of the heart; a heart changed by God to reflect His character.

So where are you on the 'win-at-all-costs' scale? - What are you prepared to do to get that goal, win that contract or come out smelling like a rose?

We all need to take a minute, inhale deeply and see what traits Jesus showed while He was here with us and let them be our yardstick and prop.

Jesus was filled with God's spirit which enabled Him to live a life full of integrity and truthfulness. Our lives need to be filled with the same Spirit, given to us freely by a loving, merciful and truthful God.